


maybe tomorrow, i'll smile at you honestly

by rire



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Confessions, F/F, Fluff, Post-Canon, Reunited and It Feels So Good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 06:43:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19718311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rire/pseuds/rire
Summary: They don’t talk about that their time as μ’s often, surprisingly. As with most precious things, they are stored away and only talked about once or twice, always reverently. But right now, it’s time to dig out the old treasure chest.Maki runs into her first love at Rin and Hanayo’s wedding.





	maybe tomorrow, i'll smile at you honestly

**Author's Note:**

> I found this in my Google Docs, written more than two years ago, and decided to post it because a) μ's! reunion!! live!!!! <3 and b) I have apparently never posted F/F fic to AO3, which is a crime. Although I wrote this a long time ago, my love for Love Live lives on. μ'sic forever, y'all.
> 
> Title from Zurui Yo Magnetic Today, by our very own Nico and Maki <3

“Does it look okay?” 

Maki gave Rin a once-over, not that she needed to. Rin looked adorable as usual. No— more so than usual. The dress looked like it was made for her. A frilly white piece with a Peter Pan collar, cinched at the waist and flared out. Simple, casual, yet it accentuated her slim figure. The only spot of colour on her dress was the yellow ribbon at the collar, which brought out her eyes. A lovely choice for a first date.

“Of course,” said Maki, arms crossed and trying to disguise the small wellspring of pride bursting inside her. Rin had really blossomed into herself. She hadn’t known Rin for as long as Hanayo had, and could only imagine what Hanayo would feel.

Rin fidgeted with her hands nervously behind her back, thinking Maki couldn’t see it. But the way her shoulders moved gave it away. “A-are you sure?” 

Maki nodded. 

“Are you really  _ really  _ sure? Pinky-promise sure?”

_ “Yes,” _ said Maki. It came out a little more frustrated than she intended.

Rin bit her lip, looking down. “I’m sorry, Maki-chan. I just really want our first date to go well. I’ve loved Kayo-chin since before I even knew what that feeling was. And she’s so important to me. I… I want to be the best version of myself that I can be, for her.”

It was strange, seeing the usually cheerful, animated Rin this anxious. Maki sighed and uncrossed her arms. She wasn’t good with words, and even worse with feelings, but she had to try. This was an important occasion to her best friend, after all.

She reached out and touched Rin’s shoulder. “It doesn’t matter what you wear,” said Maki. “Hanayo likes you for who you are inside. You’ve known each other for so long— you know each other’s strengths and flaws, your likes and your worst fears. Knowing as much as she does about you, nothing is ever going to turn her away from you. I promise. Don’t worry about being  _ the best—  _ just be  _ yourself.” _

Rin’s eyes watered, and she promptly tugged Maki into a hug. “Thank you, Maki-chan,” she cried into Maki’s shoulder. “I love you so much.”

“I- I, yeah,” said Maki. She couldn’t quite get the words out, but she was smiling despite herself. 

Afterwards, Rin wailed about how her crying had ruined her makeup, and, the area being outside of Maki’s expertise, the two of them enlisted Nico’s help, an event that Maki remembers distinctly. After that, everything went okay for Rin and Hanayo. A first date led to a second, a third, a fourth. And then, eventually, a forever.

That old memory is the one that surfaces to mind today, fifteen years later, as Maki watches Rin walk down the aisle. A frilly, tulle white dress. A singular yellow flower in her veil. None of her teenage nervousness is present, not even a stereotypical pre-wedding breakdown in the changing room. Here, now, Rin exudes pure confidence and joy and  _ hope  _ as she walks, the smile on her face more dazzling than all of her outfit put together. Maki almost chokes up during her toast, but she’s Nishikino Maki— she doesn’t cry. Besides, Rin and Hanayo have done enough crying. What Maki  _ does  _ do is down as much alcohol as she can, as fast as she can, and focus her energy on trying to walk straight on her way to the washrooms, and avoiding the looks Nico keeps shooting her. 

“You’re  _ so  _ drunk,” says Nico, holding an arm out to keep her steady. Except Nico’s arm isn’t quite steady either. Earlier that evening Maki had seen Nico weeping openly and elegantly into a handkerchief— a drama queen’s tears for show. And then, ten or twenty minutes later, she had seen Nico sobbing quietly, alone, in a dark corner. 

“Am not,” says Maki, leaning just a little more into Nico than strictly necessary. She’s warm. Maki has never quite been comfortable when her personal space bubble is broken, but Nico has always been an exception. “I’ll admit I’m drunk when you admit  _ you’re  _ drunk.”

“No  _ way,”  _ says Nico. Her face is almost as red as her eyes, which are wide and serious as Nico jabs a finger into Maki’s cheek. “A true idol never drinks. She has to watch her weight at all times.”

“That was fifteen years ago,” says Maki. They don’t talk about that their time as  μ’s often, surprisingly. As with most precious things, they are stored away and only talked about once or twice, always reverently. But right now, it’s time to dig out the old treasure chest. “We’re older now. Rin and Hanayo were the last ones to settle down. Eli and Nozomi tied the knot six years ago. Kotori and Umi’s wedding was two years ago. They’re all starting families. Except us.”

“Please,” says Nico flippantly, drink swaying dangerously in her hand. “We all know they adopted Honoka as their child way before then.”

Despite herself, Maki lets out a small laugh. 

“Did you cry?” Nico asks quietly, after a long moment. “When you hit thirty.”

Maki pauses. She weighs the benefits and costs of honesty versus maintaining her image. At least, she tries to, but the alcohol has muddied her brain and opened the gateway to pure honesty. “Yeah,” she said. 

“About what? You’re rich. You’ve always been rich.”

“Money doesn’t solve everything,” Maki says, crossing her arms. Drunk Nico is even more irritating than Regular Nico.

“Then what? Lamenting your love life?” Nico looks away. “You have a lot of admirers. I know your parents are trying to arrange a marriage for you.”

Maki flinches. “How do you know that?”

“Doesn’t matter,” says Nico, setting her drink down with finality on a side table. “Why don’t you date any of them?”

“Come on,” says Maki. “You’re not seriously  _ that  _ oblivious.”

Nico just looks at her, eyes innocently wide. Maki feels her own face go red. “Never mind,” says Maki. “Just— never mind.” She sighs. 

They lean on each other in silence, in their own little corner of the world in the hallway just behind the washrooms, away from the dance and the commotion. And then the remainder of the old memory comes back to Maki. 

“Do you remember Rin and Hanayo’s first date?” 

Her face is hot while she says it. Nico looks at her, wide-eyed. 

“Yeah,” says Nico, uncharacteristically quiet. She never truly hit her growth spurt— even in heels she’s a couple inches shorter than Maki, and looks up at her as she continues to speak. “I fixed Rin’s makeup after she cried. After she headed out, I tried some of it on myself, and then you asked me if I could do yours, too, just to try. Being the generous, amazing friend that I am, I said yes. I put on strawberry lip gloss, and yours was cherry because you demanded to be different from me.” A secretive smile. 

“I didn’t  _ demand  _ anything,” Maki retorts, but it comes out softer than intended. “You were the one who demanded to ‘mix flavours.’”

The air between them shifts. Maki is suddenly aware that their noses are inches away from one another. She can feel Nico’s breath tickling her skin. An ounce more of alcohol— an ounce more of courage— and she could close the gap like she had wanted to ever since then. 

Back then, the kiss had been brief. Short, sweet, slightly awkward, with neither of them knowing what to do. Nico had briefly run her tongue along Maki’s lower lip and then the two of them had gotten embarrassed and pulled away, blushing hard, and vowing to never speak of the incident and to take it to the grave.

Why, Maki wondered, had they called it an  _ incident? _ It wasn’t something that just  _ happened.  _ It was something they  _ did. _ Because they hadn’t faced the truth, they had fallen behind. While their friends faced their feelings and got together one by one by one, they were still stranded where they had left things fifteen years ago.

Maki has had enough of that. One look in Nico’s eyes— that same fire in them that had always been there— and she curls her hand around the back of Nico’s neck and pulls her in and kisses her. 

The memory of cherry lip gloss has been replaced by the taste of red wine. But there’s still something distinctively Nico. The way she hesitates only briefly before throwing herself into it with passion, cupping Maki’s jaw, as if to say that this time, she would never let her go. 

They pull away only to breathe. And to look at one another. With their eyes, they say  _ what took you so long  _ and  _ I’ve wanted this since forever. _

“So,” says Nico with an air of defensiveness. “Are you going to walk away again?”

“Don’t put all the blame on me!” says Maki. “You wanted to do the same.”

“You said it first!”

_ “You  _ said it first!”

“You are unbelievable,” says Nico, almost hysterically. “I can’t believe you still won’t be honest after all these years.”

Maki stops. She thinks back to what she told Rin all those years ago.  _ Knowing as much as she does about you, nothing is ever going to turn her away from you. I promise. Don’t worry about being the best— just be yourself.  _ But it was easier to give advice than to take it. Especially when you were fifteen and insecure. When you had always held people at a distance, while the girl you liked was almost performatively open with her affection. When you didn’t know your dream, while the girl you liked knew hers like she was born to. When you could never confidently talk about yourself while the girl you liked was a natural diva, turning heads wherever she went, never losing faith in herself even when others would roll their eyes at her.

_ I’ve loved her since before I even knew what that feeling was,  _ Rin had said. _ And she’s so important to me. I… I want to be the best version of myself that I can be, for her. _

“I was fifteen,” says Maki, jaw set and fists tight. “I wasn’t confident in myself like you.”

Taken aback by Maki’s admission, Nico just stared at her. When she spoke up her voice was little more than a whisper.

“You really thought I was confident?” Nico let out a breath. “‘Fake it till you make it.’ That’s what idols do. See, that’s what pissed me off about you— you didn’t have to be loud about it, you were just self-assured.”

“Maybe you weren’t always confident,” says Maki. “But you still believed in yourself. And in us. I… never had experience with people. How was I supposed to know that making a move wouldn’t ruin everything we had? Not just between us, but between  μ ’s?” 

Nico falls silent, shoulders sagging. “I know,” she says finally. “That’s how I felt too. Everyone… not just me, but everyone wanted to be an idol. We all wanted to make the world smile with our music. I didn’t want to get in the way of that, either. And then,” she swallows, blinking furiously. “And then we split, and it hurt too much to think about.”

Every moment spent with  μ ’s had been the best moment of Maki’s life. So it made sense that  μ ’s retiring was the worst thing she had experienced. But it was Nico’s second time disbanding. She couldn’t imagine how much more it must have hurt for her. All she can do now is take Nico’s hand in hers. 

“We didn’t split,” says Maki. “We’re still here, aren’t we? All of us. We might have gone on our separate paths, but they’ll always converge back together. We’ve been through too much to ever really forget about each other. All of us. And—” she flushed. “And you and me.”

“Yeah,” says Nico. “You’re right.” Her cheeks are rosy, and her lips are pink, and her hair was messy, and she is beautiful. The smile that blooms across her face reminds Maki of just why she had fallen for her in the first place. Maybe the best moments of your life aren’t events or episodes, but rather a warmth in your chest that never quite leaves, stretched out over eternity.

“Smile for me,” says Nico, poking gently at the corner of Maki’s mouth. “Come on. We’ve done enough crying for today.” 

The corner of Maki’s lip curls up. 

“Now,” says Nico, dipping back into her performer’s voice, that lovely little nuance she never lost. The thing that makes her so distinctly Nico. “Say it with me—”

Maki sighed.  _ “No—” _

_ “Nico-nico-nii!” _

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated! <3


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